"... there’s no soul in Formica."

I wanted to share one of my favorite scenes from a film script I wrote awhile back. I tried to present it here in proper script format. The blog has some display limitations so it's not perfect, but it'll do.

A portion of the film is set in 1987, and the following scene takes place after a group of friends have been up all night after driving from Orange County, Calif., to watch the sunrise in Joshua Tree National Park. Two characters sit outside a small house in a community not far from the park.

I really liked the dialogue here between Paul and Webber, and very proud of how it turned out.

Paul is a NJ transplant struggling to find his way in the world, while Webber, a transplant in his own right from Oklahoma, speaks with a slight twang and isn't afraid to preach his own brand of cowboy religion and common sense.

EXT. BACK PORCH - DAY
Paul slumps in a chair at a table with an umbrella. Webber sits down and pours a margarita for each of them.

PAUL
Where are the other two?

WEBBER
Who knows. Sleeping, I
think.

Paul knocks back a good portion of his drink and Webber fills it back up.

WEBBER
Hey sinner, what ever happened to
that lady you had back east?

PAUL
She went back to her boyfriend at
school.

WEBBER
So you were just another steer in
the herd.

PAUL
It wasn’t like that, or maybe it
was. I don’t know.

WEBBER
She ain’t with you, so something’s
up. What was she studying at
school?

PAUL
Communications or something.

WEBBER
Communications? Shit son, she’s
probably a housewife.

PAUL
No, she was studying film. She
wanted to be a movie director.

WEBBER
A movie director? Well that’s it,
right there. That’s what’s wrong --
movies, man.

PAUL
What?

WEBBER
I mean it’s so obvious. Once those
cut-up-chic flicks came out a few
years ago those mall cineplexes
popped up all over creation. Then
shazam! Then there’s this one
little theater on the other side of
town. It’s got the big marquee, the
lights, the infinity mirrors and
varnished wood. Wood man, wood’s
got soul.

Paul hasn’t a clue what Webber is getting at and shakes his head.

WEBBER
That’s what the movies used to be,
not anymore. Now it’s a wasteland.
The lights on the marquee don’t work,
the seats are torn and the wood
is black with layers and layers of varnish.
Kids today, they don’t want heroes and
dreams. They want video games,
plastic bubble gum cartoons who
spout neon lines... And everything
coated in Formica. Dang son,
there’s no soul in Formica.

PAUL
What does that have to do with
anything?

WEBBER
Don’t you see? She wasn’t real,
man. Your lady, she wasn’t from the
heart. She was just having fun. But
you took it serious. Now you’re
walking around all boo hoo, the
bitch broke my heart. Well too bad.
Wake up, get over it. Get on with
your life. Don’t sit back and watch
it go by, because one day it’ll be
too late. And that’s the worst
regret you can have. To look back
and think I should’ve done this, or
I should’ve done that. Go do it.
Don’t regret, it’ll kill ya.

PAUL
OK, chief, I’ll get right on it.

WEBBER
I’m serious dude, it killed my
pops. He had a chance to move out
here and buy an orange grove, but
he didn’t. He didn’t and it killed
him. It took 50 years, but it
killed him just the same. Don’t be
like him. Don’t die wishin’. Go
find that special lady, go see the
bullfights in Spain, or whatever...
It doesn’t matter, but don’t die
sitting around wishin’ you had.

PAUL
What if you think you’ve already
found your special lady?

WEBBER
Look, I don’t know this woman from
back east and she may have been
shootin’ from the heart, I don’t
know. That’s up for you to decide.
If you think you’ve found her then
you have, but you’re still missing
the point.

PAUL
What’s that?

WEBBER
Why are you telling me?
I ain’t your lady.

Paul finishes his drink. Webber refills both their glasses emptying the pitcher.

"Porchlight"
Buffalo Tom from their 1992 album "Let Me Come Over"


- Salud!